1. I will remember that music is an ephemeral soundscape superimposed on a background of silence, and that its existence is fragile.

2. I will not speak during the performance unless to request an ambulance.

3. I will not bring cellophane-wrapped candies into a performance hall. If I do, I will not unwrap them during the performance. If I find myself possessed of a coughing fit, I will find an exit. This is also true with bothersome children --- take them outside. NOW!

4. If I arrive after the performance has begun, if I can attain my assigned seat without disturbing any other listener, I will NOT enter into a conversation once I reach it. Remember, our Divas carry spears!!!!

5. If I possess a wristwatch that beeps, I will leave it at home with any other technology that beeps or plays any other sounds.

6. I will not clap unless I am absolutely certain that a piece is over.

7. I will not sprint up the aisle the instant the scene is over. If I must exit without applauding the soloist, I will wait until he/she leaves the stage, sparing him/her the insult of seeing his/her efforts rewarded with a view of my backside.

8. Whispering DOES count as talking!

9. Gentlemen (and others) never, ever wear hats or caps indoors. Save this for the park.

10. Food and drink have no place in a performance hall. If you can't survive a performance without a picnic buffet, don't attend. And yes, water counts as a drink --- leave the designer water bottles at home.